unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

psychoticmist:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’

thatsonofamitch:

spoopyvriska:

communismkills:

trueemergence:

omg damn

IS THIS REAL.

the back pocket is the worst place to put ANYTHING why would yall put your $400 iphone in there

because i want my 400$ phone to reflect the curve of my perfect ass

leader-of-standing-purgatorians:

princess-romanova:

So I hadn’t yet come out to my mum and today I got home to see that someone had changed the cover on my bed to this

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And then I saw that they left a note on the bed, so I went over to take a look at it and

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My mum is the best 

Whenever I see this I think well what if you weren’t gay and you came home one day to this

bvixx:

when you’re not in that stranger’s follow forever

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victorsvillage:

for April fools at my school, they played the United States national anthem.
I’m Canadian.

irenigg:

metrogoon:

If you’d rather go to a club than a museum, you deserve to be unhappy.

museum? what the fuck is in a museum? they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?

twerkinforcannedgoods:

next level weave

twerkinforcannedgoods:

next level weave

stop:

jamgurl73:

golddiggerr:

BERNICE

Don’t fuck with Bernice!

Bernice is my cousin yall

stop:

jamgurl73:

golddiggerr:

BERNICE

Don’t fuck with Bernice!

Bernice is my cousin yall

rrrrosa:

those songs that start in one earbud and flow into the next

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